August 17th 2011

I'm up early as the Stoma Nurse is coming to see me. The Nurses on the Ward have already advised her on yesterday so she is clearly aware of the latest.

Craig and I are showed how to change my bag. The Nurses in Swindon had changed it a couple of times but this was the first time I had been shown from start to finish without any rushing or being so tired I can't stay awake. It's explained that I have to be careful what I eat and cake, potato, pasta and other stodgy foods are good for me. They will slow everything down and make it thicker meaning it should be emptied less often. If it is runny, Haribo sweets or anything with gelatine in, will help. I'm given the blue bag of supplies to keep and told that it's best to speak to Swindon when I get discharged about extra supplies etc..

Immediately after the Nurse leaves, I decide that I should get up and have a shower. I managed to do it the day before and there isn't any reason why I can't do it again. Craig helps me sit up and pulls me up to stand as I still can't do this on my own. Suddenly I have hurrendous pain in my lower right abdomen/pelvic area. I scream and sit back down on the bed. It doesn't hurt when I sit, only when I stand.

After a few minutes I decide to try again. Exactly the same. I lie back on the bed the wrong way (horizontally rather than vertically) as I cannot move now to get back in bed. I realise that the pain is coming from the area where my stomach drain goes in. It's a Robinson drain so it's very large in diameter and goes in below the stoma bag. It has a loose stitch holding it in my body and  i'm wondering if the Nurse placed my stoma bag over the top of the drain or too close to it. Craig said that the bag wasn't over it but the skin was quite red around the drain and looked sore. I call the Nurses in as I cannot physically move without being in agony and screaming. Every time I move, the drain pulls. I'm given co-codamol and the Nurse comes back in 20 minutes to see if it has worked. Not even in the slightest. She comes back a few minutes later to say that she has contacted the surgical team and they will be down to see me in an hour and a half so i'm expecting someone around 11am. She decides to give me a dose of Morphine which she pours in my mouth. She comes back 15 minutes later and yet again it's not even touched the pain. A little while later she comes back with a rather large needle! It's the last resort and no more can be given after this so i'm hoping it works.

I tell Craig to go to the room he has upstairs as he has to clear it out today and hand back the keys. I was still lying strangely on the bed and didn't think i'd be moving anytime soon.

20 minutes after the injection, I realise my bladder is full. The sensation is strange as i've not felt it in a week. I realise because of the way i'm lying on the bed, my cathater and drain are running up hill!I have to get up so that my urine runs into the bag before my bladder bursts. I manage to get up and get in the shower without feeling any pain.

After my shower, Craig comes back to the room and i'm feeling a little strange so he finds me leaning on the side unit. I'm feeling a little light headed and need to get back into bed.

It's lunch time and Craig's family have arrived. Craig goes out to lunch with his Dad and Brother and i'm waiting for a scan. The surgeons still haven't been to see me yet and i'm a little worried that when I get taken for my scan, they will come and I will miss them.

I feel very light headed while i'm having my scan and really need to get back into bed and I can start feeling the morphine wearing off.

After lunch Mum, Aunty Gill and Uncle Frank arrive and there are so many people in my room it's ready to burst! The surgeon arrives around 4pm and i'm going to ask him if I can be transferred back to Swindon. I want Lola to be with her brother and I want to be close to them both.

The surgeon apologises for the time and explains that he was actually operating while on the phone to the ward and said he'd be down as soon as he can. He looks at my stomach drain and explains that the skin has started to grow round the drain as it enters, which is why it hurts so much. He is happy for it to be removed now. As he starts to fiddle with it, the pain is as bad as it was in the morning. I can't have anyone touch it without being in agony. While pain killers are sorted out for me, the surgeon asks if I really want to go back to the hospital in Swindon or would I prefer to go home. Home? The Nurse comes by and gives me another mouthful of Morphine.

It's agreed that I can go home. The surgeon will type a letter for me to take to my GP to advise on the last weeks events and that they will need to take my staples out in a few days.

The surgeon has gone now and the Nurse comes back to take out my drain and cathater. I'm worried about the drain but also the cathater does hurt sometimes when it gets tugged however this is removed very easily. The Nurse starts to pull the drain and I can't stop myself from screaming. I know it has to come out but it is agony. The Nurse starts talking to me about my job and hobbies. I know she is going to be pulling it while she is talking to me but it's got to be done. Finally all 6" of drain are out! A dressing is placed over the hole.

I can go home once i've urinated 3 times to make sure that my bladder is functioning correctly. Everyone has gone home except for Mum, Uncle Frank and of course Craig. I decide that it's easier for me to travel home in Uncle Franks car. It has been arranged that we will take Lola with us and drop her off at GWH on our way so she can be with Lukas. I'm finally discharged around 9:45pm. We go to collect Lola and I have the Moses basket on my lap all the way back. Mum and Craig then take her into GWH and we finally arrive home around 10:45pm.

The house has been tidied for us and cheese on toast made as a snack. It feels amazing to be home but i'm slightly worried about walking up and down the stairs and also about my bag. I feel a little underconfident about changing it.

Everyone stays for an hour and when we go to bed, I fall asleep straight away. It turns out to be the best night sleep i've had in months.