The Nurse changes my stoma bag and gets me up into the chair. I'm also waiting for a surgeon to come and see me as they are hoping to transport me to Bristol to see Lola. Craig's Dad is also due back from work today and will be driving to see me before going on to Bristol.
Craig sends me a message asking if I come to Bristol, should we have Lola Christened. It's something that we originally said that we wouldn't do for any of our children and that we would have a naming ceremony instead. Given the circumstances, we both agreed to go ahead and it will happen in when I get to St. Michaels. Lola is stable and still fighting.
Mum arrives and Craig's grandparents call and ask if I would mind if they came to visit and that they would be there in around an hour. Shortly after my Mum arrives, Craig's Dad comes and it is decided that Mum will go with him to Bristol to see Lola The surgeon arrives and confirms that she would be happy for me to go to Bristol. They will call an ambulance and Mum can come with me so Howard will now go with Alan to Bristol in the car.
The surgeon is still talking to me and suddenly I can feel a warm rush of fluid. I realise that it must be my stoma bag. It's not been long since it was changed but because I was only having water, it had filled very quickly and had burst. The ambulance crew were now waiting for me and the Nurses were trying to change my bag again and clean me up. The fluid was coming so quickly out of my stoma that it was literally pouring out onto the floor!
Craig's grandparents arrive but due to me being cleaned up I am unable to see them. Mum takes Lukas into the curtained area so they can see him.
I'm finally ready to leave Swindon. I'm wheeled out in my bed and I quickly say hello to Craig's grandparents as I go past and Laura, a friend who works at the hospital.
The ambulance ride is the most uncomfortable drive ever. They drive to Bristol with the blue lights and sirens and the strap across my stomach is quite painful. The ambulance rocks around and every bump is felt but it doesn't take long to get to St. Michaels and they wheel me up on the bed and take me to the Peter Dunn Intensive Care Unit. Arriving at the door of the unit I can see Craig standing at Lola's incubator. I cannot wait to get in there and see her.
I now had to say my final goodbyes to by beautiful son and to be honest I didn't want to. I wanted him to stay with me forever but the Nurses say that they will take good care of him and that they make sure his footprints and pictures are taken.
I'm put in a chair but can hardly move. When I get to the incubator I can hardly see Lola. I'm helped up a few times so I can see better but I can only stand for a few seconds. I still have fluids going through the intravenous drip, a cathater and a stomach drain. Before now i've not really had to be that aware of them all but now I am standing and moving around, they are in the way.
This was the first time I realised how poorly I was. Before this, I didn't really care about me, but now that I can hardly stand and see my daughter, I suddenly felt incredibly weak.
We had Lola Christened that afternoon. The service only lasted 10 minutes and was very emotional but we are glad we did it. She was Christened Lola Louise and we had Howard, Nick, Ash and Jodi as her godparents. Ash and Jodi weren't present but the Minister was able to agree without their presence.
It becomes apparent that the hospital are trying to get me a bed. They aren't happy that i've been brought to Bristol and left without any Nurses. The Neonatal Nurses are having to empty my cathater and my stoma bag which they don't have the facilities to do and it needed emptying several times.
Around 9pm, I can't believe i've been in Bristol for a few hours. It seems like only 5 minutes that i've had with my daughter but the BRI have a bed for me for the night so I can see her tomorrow. I'm taken down in a Community Ambulance while Alan and Howard collect my things from Swindon and Caroline drops them off later that night. I don't have my own room which i'm not happy about but at least i'm close to Lola. I keep thinking of Lukas and how he is on his own in Swindon and how he should be with his big sister. Craig stays with me a while and then suddenly it hits me that this is the first time i've been left on my own properly since Lola and Lukas were born. I manage to eat some soup which is the first bit of food i've had since Tuesday evening and as you'd expect I had about 2 mouthfuls before I was full.
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