I got in the car as Craig locked up the house. As I walked round the back of the car I could see the most beautiful white coffin in the boot. It was the first time that I realised what was happening to us. Craig and I held hands all the way on the 25 minute journey, breathing deeply to compose ourselves like Jodi had said. It worked although I didn't want the journey to end as I didn't think I could go through what was going to happen next. At times I felt like opening the door and getting out but eventually the car arrived at exactly 1pm and I could see a crowd of people waiting. I couldn't believe how many people there were there to give their support for us.
I only saw 2 actual faces in the croud. Ash and Jodi. I then started to well up again when I saw their faces. The car stopped and the pall bearer got out and started walking in front of the car down to the burial site. The croud followed behind. As we got out the car, the boot was opened and as Craig was handed the beautiful tiny white coffin, I wanted to scream and collapse on the floor. Watching and following my husband carry our children in their coffin is something that will stay with me forever.
The service was lovely. Howard played Slipped Away by Avril Lavigne, conducted his own written reading and then played Lukas by Natalie Imbruglia. The service was easier than expected. I don't know how, but I managed to keep myself quite composed throughout and I tried not to look at anyone behind us. We had our arms round each other the whole time and only let go when Craig helped lower Lola and Lukas into the ground. I didn't want to say goodbye. It was however pointed out that it would only be goodbye for now....
After the service most of us went to a local pub for a drink and some food. Family were there who I hadn't seen in a while and we all stayed talking until the early evening. After Ash and Jodi dropped us at home, we just sat down on the sofa to watch tv, too emotionally and physically drained to do anything else.
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